when things don’t go as planned

The summer of 2024, I released the first 9 minutes of Laylian the Alien on my website and sold wooden stickers at Riverwalk Market Fair in Northfield. I thought of it all as a grand experiment, one in which I would practice talking about my work (which I was not at all comfortable with) as well as make money to help support it. It also was an excuse to hang out with my sister before she headed off to college (you can see her pottery work here).

I didn’t expect anyone to care about my work, so I was pleasantly surprised when people showed interest. I previously had this idea that I would have to fight to gain people’s attention. I thought if I could just talk perfectly enough, I would wrestle their attention to the ground and win their affections. It was something of a relief to learn that there would be no wrestling. They would either be interested or they wouldn’t. The best way to talk about my work was to simply talk about my work.

While I learned a lot hanging out with my sister and talking to the lovely people of Northfield, I ultimately lost money on the venture. Sticker sales weren’t substantial enough to cover merchandise costs and booth fees. I didn’t really care—I was just happy people were as interested as they were.

But as the months passed, my life changed substantially. I moved out of my parents’ house and into my own apartment. My cost of living went up, and I took a full-time job in place of my menagerie of part-time jobs. I had less and less time to devote to this art business I was developing. I found myself disappointed. I had this unspoken expectation that putting my work out into the world would be a launchpad of sorts. I thought if I just put myself out there, the work would become easier to do. Instead, the work kept threatening to go into dormancy as I tried to navigate the competing aspects of my life.

The following summer, I realized I didn’t have the time or resources to sell at Riverwalk again. I felt discouraged, like I had lost my momentum. I realized I needed some advice. So I wrote this letter to myself.

-Brynn

What do I do when things don’t go as planned?

Dear Pivoting Creator,

Things almost never go as planned. It is not a reason for alarm.

It can be tempting to try and force things back on track, to make them bend to your will. That almost never goes well. It is better to adapt and work with reality rather than fight against it.

Often, when we wrestle with things turning out unexpectedly, what we really are grappling with is the illusion of control. There is so much beyond our control. We cannot control the nature of things. We cannot control others’ reactions. We cannot control our own feelings.

But what we can control are our responses. We can control our actions. We can choose which way to go, this way or that. If we don’t like what we chose, we can choose differently. If everything comes crashing down around us, we can begin again.

This is the practice of creation. And you are a creator.

This is why, when things don’t go as planned, the best thing to do is to create another plan.

This may feel counterintuitive. It may be the very last thing you want to do. But the truth is, aside from quitting, it is the only thing you can do. If you want to continue pursuing your goal, you must find it within you to begin again.

The good news is, you are now slightly smarter than you were when you made your first plan. Assuming things went poorly, you now know one path that won’t work.

But perhaps things didn’t go poorly, they just eluded your control.

That is a wonderful thing to learn as well. Knowing the difference between what you can and can’t control is precious wisdom. The more plans you make, the richer you become.

Keep in mind, a plan is not the same as a bid for control. A plan is like a hypothesis—it’s a working theory. Once it’s no longer useful, you make a new one. It is not meant to be your permanent life raft. If you find that you are unable to let go of your plan, or if your plan suddenly requires things to be different from how they actually are, you no longer have a plan. You have a bid for control. You can bid for as long as you like, just know one thing: you will always hold the losing bid.

It can be so tempting to try to change what you cannot control. It is especially tempting after you’ve made plan after plan after plan, only to find yourself no closer to your goal. The fact is, there is no guarantee you will ever reach your goal. This is the hazardous reality of dreams. Yet trying and never reaching a dream is no worse a fate than choosing not to try at all. Ultimately, it is your choice. Do you respond to the call of a dream or do you ignore it?

If you choose to respond, you must make a plan.

The plan does not have to be complex. The plan may simply be “just do the next thing that feels right.” And if that doesn’t work, then make another plan. And then another. And another. And another.

Things likely won’t go as you expect them to. And that’s okay.

Perhaps one day, just when you’ve gotten used to things as they are, you may land on a plan that goes exactly as you thought it might.

Wouldn’t that be entirely unexpected?

Keep hope. I wish you well in your work.

Love,

A Fellow Creator